


Short Pants

by Carbon65



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman and Robin (Comics), Robin (Comics)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Pants, Robin's costume, teenage boys are gross
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:00:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28953084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carbon65/pseuds/Carbon65
Summary: The first time Tim showed up in Titans tower, one of the older members - a guy with a bow and sunglasses -  glared at him and told him he couldn’t be Robin because Robin doesn’t wear pants.And, okay, Dick and Jason’s costumes didn’t have pants for some still inexplicable reason. It’s been one of the first things he’d wants to change when he’d taken up the mantle.After Arsenal’s accusation, Tim decides it’s time to solve the mystery and put an end to the problem.
Relationships: Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne
Comments: 8
Kudos: 70





	Short Pants

The first time Tim showed up in Titans tower, one of the older members - a guy with a bow and sunglasses - glared at him and told him he couldn’t be Robin because Robin doesn’t wear pants.

And, okay, Dick and Jason’s costumes didn’t have pants for some still inexplicable reason. It’s been one of the first things he’d wants to change when he’d taken up the mantle. The dominos are nifty and the adhesive remover works well. The tunic is fine. Especially after he discovered it was Kevlar reinforced. He can work with the pixie boots, although the combat boots he’d settled one were and are better. (Hell, even Hood wears combat boots now. Only Nighwing wears the shoes with the soft leather soles. Tim had tried them, but they’d been too small and he’d always been afraid he’d step on a nail or a needle by the docs and get Tetanus or Hepatitis or super MRSA and die a horrible death.  
Tim worries about a lot of things. But he’s not going to die of super MRSA.)

But, After Arsenal’s accusation, Tim decides it’s time to solve the mystery and put an end to the problem.

… 

He’d gone to Bruce first. Mostly because Bruce was in close proximity and was a source of institutional memory. He was Batman, afterall. So, Tim showed up when Bruce was… Brucing. Which today seemed to involve listening to a podcast and playing increasingly complex games of solitaire with a deck of cards from some seedy casino in Gotham. They’re not spent casino cards - no one has punched a hole through the deck as a reminder that they’ve left the casino. They’re new, and they’re from one of Fishburn’s casinos. And Bruce is playing solitaire with them.

One Bruce takes his white headphones out, Tim demands an explanation.

Bruce says being a parent means learning to pick your battles. Which Tim will maybe understand some day if he ever becomes a parent. Which reminds Bruce that the school called and Tim still hasn’t submitted his encon assignment that was due two weeks ago.  
Tim decides to pick his battles sooner rather than later and disappears before there can be any more discussion. Econ is useless, anyway.

… 

He’d approached Alfred next. Alfred also had institutional memory, and he pays more attention to clothes than Bruce does. Well, Alfred pays more attention to _their_ clothes than Bruce does. Bruce had once tried to do laundry when Alfred was away and they had all ended up with pale pink socks. But, Bruce is impeccably dressed and Tim assumes he learned it somewhere. Alfred never would have let his charge go out improperly dressed. Which doesn’t explain Robin.

Tim had cornered him in the laundry room, as Alfred was pulling a load of sheets out of the dryer. Which might or might not have been a mistake because Tim kind of likes the mangle. 

Except that when he tries to ask, Alfred just gives him a pointed look at his cargo shorts. And tells him that his gym teacher sent an email to let his guardians know that Tim is to wash his gym uniform every two weeks, and it has been six weeks. And then Alfred sends him upstairs to get the hampers from his room and Bruce’s and the one from the cave in the basement. 

Tim uses the reprieve to escape back to Jack’s house. He sits in his old bedroom and takes a long look at the school gym bag in the corner before ignoring it again. Which is kind of a feat because it’s starting to smell like a gym locker room. But, he’s a vigilante and he’s been getting B’s and C’s in school. He’s doing okay. He can go another week in the same gym shorts and t-shirt. At this point, they’ll stand up on their own, so one more week won’t really make a difference.

… 

Tim counts the pebbles around the board, landing the last one in an empty spot directly across from Dick’s very full collection of stones. The six pebbles join his steadily growing horde.

Dick says something just this side of nasty and tries to figure out his next move.

Tim strikes as they reset the game board.

Dick’s answer is simple. He’s an acrobat. Was, is, always will be. Which isn’t an answer at all. 

Tim waits to see if there’s more. There usually is with Dick.

Who finally tells him that track pants in the 90s were _loud_. And the leotard made no noise.

And Tim says that Dick and Jason’s erm, Richards might be little, but that his Timothy was perfectly average.

Dick says the leotard fits a cup fine, as long as you make sure to put it in carefully. And gives Tim a knowing look. 

And who the heck told Dick about the time that his cup popped out mid fight and it was so shocking that one of the henchmen had stopped and hurried over and picked it up between his two fingers, holding it away from his body, to present to Bruce. Who told Tim in the car that the man deserved a medal and that Tim should be more careful with his things.

Tim blushes to the roots of his hair and picks up the mancala board and leaves the study.

… 

He thinks about asking Jason. Except he doesn’t know how to get a hold of Jason except as Red Hood. And he doesn’t think he wants to ask Oracle. Because then he’d have to explain the whole pants thing to her. And he’s kind of afraid of Oracle. And Baraba Gordon. Especially after Alfred made him play delivery service when she was sick and… she’s like his big, scary, cousin.

He finally does catch Red Hood on the rooftop one night. 

He doesn’t get shot at. Which is a nice change. He does get called Replacement, which stings. Not because it isn’t true. Because he’d like to be good enough on his own merits and not just there because Jason is gone and Tim fills a convenient hole in Batman’s defenses. And tries to fill the hole in Bruce’s life.

Except that all Jason tells him before Red Hood disapepars off the roof is that he can just ask, if he really wants them.

And then he’s gone and Tim is still pulling a wedgie out of his ass crack.

… 

He finally just gets up the courage to _ask_ Bruce. It’s getting cold. Too cold to keep wrapping himself in his cape like some weird bird.

They’re on a rooftop stake out, Tim wrapped in his cape and drinking coffee out of a thermos. When he’s done, he’s going to go to the 7-eleven on the corner and they will probably let him use their bathroom and give him more coffee so he doesn’t freeze to death. Because Leon is a local hero and a neighborhood legend and he gives Tim as much coffee as he can drink in a night for letting Leon put up a sign that says, _Official Robin Coffee Shop_.

The cold wind gusts across the roof, and Tim sucks at his coffee thermos, and the words just… pop out.

Tim likes to think that if his face was not covered by the cowl, Bruce would have blinked in surprise. At least his growl is kind of surprised.

And then he asks why Tim’s dad isn’t buying him pants. Which… Jack has not bought Tim clothes in _years_. His parents _pay_ for them, sure. But aside from special occasions and school, Tim buys his own clothes and dresses himself. He also schedules his own haircuts. He likes his headband, thank you very much.

And Tim says no, pants for Robin.

And Bruce doesn’t say anything. 

The night is cold and the street lights reflect garishly up onto the cloudy sky, reflecting back a yellow glow. And Tim is sure that Bruce is going to say no.

But all Batman does is shrug. Yes, Robin can have pants. But Tim’s civilian identity has to stop wearing cargo shorts when it’s below freezing. And wash his gym uniform.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m imagining like 13 year old Tim here. If you were not a disaster at 13, you are lying to yourself and everyone around you. The good news for young teenagers is that it will get better someday. The bad news is that you should probably wash your gym clothes. Possibly with baking soda.
> 
> Questions, comments, concerns, or suggestions all welcome!


End file.
